It is, by far, the teaser that makes me smile most: anything claiming to be a “secret” which is published in a news article, book or on an online platform used by millions of people.
Ever see a headline that broadcasts something like, “This restaurant is Milwaukee’s best kept secret!” First of all, if it was a secret, it’s not anymore; and second, what restaurant owner wants her place to be a secret?
But I’ll play along and here it is: The secrets of great negotiators, revealed! The secret is there are no secrets. Everything anyone has had to say about negotiations is in the marketplace as an article, book, video or training. And the best, most disciplined negotiators have read and watched as much of it as they can and leveraged it to make themselves better.
What I will tell you, that you may not know, is that there is a misconception about how experienced business negotiators view their counterparts and the goal of the negotiations: the truth is, we don’t want to win.
The best negotiators in the business want to solve problems. And what we hope we will see on the other side of the table is another problem solver. Why? Problem solvers get better results for themselves and the other party. They create outcomes that maximize the potential value of the engagement and, in the end, build better relationships between the parties.
I would rather work with a negotiator who knows as much or more than I do about disciplined negotiations than deal with an inexperienced, positional bargainer who is trying to “break my bottom line” and “win.” That may be fun when buying a car and walking away from the dealership.
But in the services business, in which the relationship is ongoing, both parties benefit from the strength and depth of a trusted relationship, not a transactional relationship. Focusing on “beating” the other party does not build trust.
Which is why I write these articles. My goal is to help everyone get better at selling, negotiating and deal-making, so when I sit across the table from someone, we can collaborate and drive greater efficiency and value generation for our companies and our clients.
John, I recall reading one of your articles many years ago on the need for both the seller and the customer to experience a win. If win/win was not a viable outcome, what was the Next Best Outcome you, as the seller was, prepared to accept and lead to close.
A lesson well remembered over the last ten or more years – thanks, perhaps an opportunity to reinforce these habits to an eager younger generation of deal whispers
Thanks, John. You have a great point and a terrific memory!