Welcome to 2026! This is the year you can master the art of influence.
What’s that you say? You don’t worry about how you might influence others?
Silly you! You influence other people all day long!
Every time you say “good morning” you are using words of influence. How you deliver those two words to another person will determine how they feel and think about you at the start of the day.
* Good morning
* g’morning…
* GOOD MORNING!!!!
So, yes, you’re influencing with everything you say, but you may not be doing it with awareness. So 2026 is the year you become more aware of your own ability to influence, and improve your skills.
To be skillful at influence means you’re better able to run the room, and run your life.
Because if you’re not running the room, then someone is running you!
Here is how you start:
Every time you are about to engage with someone (a family member, the clerk at DMV, a colleague) pause for just a moment and think, “How do I want to open?” Well, how you want to open depends on what your goal is.
For example, when we greet a family member with disdain (“hi…”) because we’re trying to send a message (“I’m still mad at you!”) that disdain likely will then generate a negative emotion from them (“What’s your problem?”) and so the downward spiral of emotions begins. Open instead with a tone that establishes an opportunity for discussion (“Hey, good morning”) to keep feelings in check so you can try and resolve what’s bothering you (“Can we talk through some of what happened yesterday? I’d like to clear the air.”).
Likewise, approaching the clerk at DMV to resolve a problem is best started with an opening of friendliness and an express request for help (“Good morning! I am hoping you can help me with this because I think I may have screwed something up.”). An opening statement of vulnerability (I need help) is a reliable way of getting engagement from another person who now subconsciously perceives themselves in a position of strength (“I am the problem solver.”). That individual is now more likely to collaborate and help you with your issue.
Try this with the next person you speak with. Think in advance of how you want to open, and then pay attention to how they respond. If you open with kindness, you should get kindness in return. If you open with anger, you’ll get defensiveness. Most importantly, be aware. You contribute mightily to the emotional environment you live in, and you can learn to better control that environment.
(Photo by Clay Banks)
